waking up

Okay… working out is the one most ego-damaging thing I have to face two to three times a week. It is so painful sometimes… Actually, biking isn’t that bad anymore, but that’s because I have been doing it more and more. The pace I set for myself is decent… like 90 PPM at 3rd level of difficulty (out of 12), and it is energizing afterwards. The first few times my legs felt like rubber when I got off, but it has slowly gotten better. But one thing that hurts my ego/body more than anything else in working out, is other people. I know I shouldn’t compare, but it just makes me feel how far off I am… I see people on the bikes for half an hour to 45 minutes, and they hardly even breathe hard. People highlight readings for their homework… people study on the bike. I have to concentrate on breathing.

And the worst is when they are using the bike and I need it. I came in today, and some girl was on there for 18 minutes and counting… I asked, “Do you know how much longer you will be on the bike?” She reluctantly answered, “Hmm, about 25 more minutes.” I was like… so close to cussing to myself. Plus, the weight machine seat is all messed up so I couldn’t even do a proper bench press. I then decided… stairs. So this time, I did 4 sets of stairs, from 3rd floor to 6th floor, which is 304 steps. Counting my progress is the little joy I have. The thing is, that stairs are SO MUCH HARDER than bike (which I set the pace for), and so “high-impact” in terms of difficulty, that I was done with the first three sets in five minutes. What kind of workout is that? My heartrate jumps up for that short period of time, burns like 5 Calories, and I feel lke dying already.

Let me put it this way… you know how it feels when your muscles BURN? Well, this is way PAST that. After your muscles burn, they just feel like FAILING. Have you ever felt that before? I’m sure you have, and you have conquered it, because I am pathetic.

Enough getting down about myself though… I know that being defeated in this way means nothing to the rest of my character. At least I can knowingly stand and be defeated. I think that you can call that either blind courage or stupidity, but hey, I am doing something.

Man… I forgot. Mr. Rogers passed away today. I found out from reading the article on his passing that he was an ordained Presbyterian minister… that explained a lot of things. Why he always promoted being good neighbors and all that… STRAIGHT from the passage in shepherd group too. He was a real comfort in my childhood days… so predictable yet so warm and sincere. Hats off to you… God was happy with what you did for Him.

Man… long day ends. The Near East Ensemble concert was nice… I enjoyed being in it. Hopefully they’ll let me do something cooler than just playing backup backup riqq. I told a few people abou the concert, and guess who came? Kathleen! No one else :( but hey, it meant a lot to me regardless.

No class tomorrow, wooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Hahahahahaha God’s the best. He used me to wake up 3 people today… talk about His strength in my weakness. Man… it is much more of a testimony to people who know me best, like my dad. I told him two days ago at lunch, and he was like… “We couldn’t even get you up for school sometimes.”

Shepherd group was great. Worship went well, although it felt a bit rushed… but it’s all good. The word was on the Good Samaritan parable, but in the context that the reason Jesus told the parable was to counteract the “expert on the law” who questioned Jesus… he had prejudices on love and Jesus corrected him by saying all who deserve mercy are his neighbors, and that he should be a neighbor to everyone. Here’s a fitting David Park quote:

“Man…. Jesus is soooo (Korean ’soooo’) smart.”

One cool thing I should mention that I never mentioned here before… FOR ALL YOU WHO KNOW ME BACK HOME: I WAKE PEOPLE UP FOR MORNING PRAYER!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! IS GOD CRAZY OR WHAT????

[04:54:57 PM] dear memphis: Ren is sweet

[04:55:10 PM] warjianrumoelliu: ren is too much like wrne

[04:55:12 PM] warjianrumoelliu: wren*

[04:55:14 PM] warjianrumoelliu: like a little bird

[04:55:26 PM] warjianrumoelliu: roarin is so cool

[04:55:39 PM] dear memphis: Ren

[04:55:41 PM] dear memphis: I like Ren

[04:55:43 PM] warjianrumoelliu: my bro calls me war

[04:55:46 PM] warjianrumoelliu: just plain and simple

[04:55:47 PM] dear memphis: Ren

[04:55:49 PM] warjianrumoelliu: and my mom does too

[04:55:50 PM] dear memphis: Ren

[04:55:54 PM] warjianrumoelliu: agh fine

Prayer was really great. I woke up around 4:45 and went to Hedrick to get Kathleen. Hedrick is far… Got a ride back with Carl instead of Luke, though… man he is funny! He is very… blunt? Nihilistic? Not many great words to describe him. He told me guys his age don’t fart anymore in front of other guys, though… how lame is that? :D

I got a B+/B on my Philosophy midterm… BOO-YAH!

Whew, great day. Pulled the all-nighter, got a decent paper done, slept about 4 hours, went to lunch with my dad (who flew down from SF) at some Chinese place, went to English where our teacher treated us all to ice cream for NO REASON… man God has just blessed me continually in so many little ways today. Hallelujah (“Praise the Lord” in Hebrew)!

My goodness… I have been sitting here for so long and I haven’t come up with a solid thesis yet… My page count for my six to eight page paper: not even one.

I had Chicken-Fried Steak :). I will continue being veggie… I think the meat will be limited to around once a week… We’ll see.