waking up

I am still alive. A week after Navajo, going to Las Vegas with my extended family tonight for a reunion, I have extreme optimism and faith in God for any and all things now.

God has continually shaped me in my character, my awareness, and overall attitude towards things. And it’s all from the heart, deep inside. True change was impossible before Him, and now I welcome it. I truly do have a lasting peace and joy.

I find more and more that God is expanding my territory, too, just like in the prayer of Jabez. Thanks to a friend who saw that prayer being significant in my life last year in school; it is apparent to me now.

Too much to put down now about the summer thus far, but I will get to it somehow. I wonder if people still read this… hehe, it’s been dead for a while.

Wow… first update in so long. I hope people still read this, because I have a lot to blog about when I have my own internet connection. I’m going to Navajo Saturday morning, so please pray for me.

I had a long talk with TJ today about my future… I have been thinking about God’s leading in my life and wondering where I’m gonna be when college is over. I know God wants full control, and surrender is just as tough as taking responsibility.

I recorded all last night, a new song that I wrote yesterday in about an hour. It’s supposed to depict me witnessing Christ on the way to crucifixion and on the Cross, wondering about the kind of wrath He is holding back from mankind in full knowledge that He is submitting to the lowest humiliation for us. Christ was undressed and dying.

Moe titled it for me after looking at my lyrics… here it is:

Eloi, Eloi

Pressed, undressed

I must confess

Battered, bruised, torn & broken

For the rest

The final test

Punished for me

You’re owed a million bended knees

With no offense

I see you there in noble silence

A fire, a flood behind those eyes

The same gaze fixed upon the prize

I can’t sympathize

The entire world could not contain

The wrath subjected to Your pain

You were punished for me

You’re owed a million bended knees

The night before in blood like sweat

The road ahead that led to death with

The sky devoid of any light

The curtain ripped in two despite

The mountains that You had to move

To have me come back to You

Then You cry, “My God, why?”

And I cry, “My God, my God, why?”

“I love you.”