waking up

I need to learn how to be a son again.

Man, this week has been pretty tough, emotionally and schedule-wise… but wow, I think it all paid off with the housewarming. For around eight hours, friends streamed in bearing gifts, food, and smiles. We now have a new barbecue grill, a flask for cooking oil, tupperware, and tons of leftovers. It was cool, because people with families and responsibilities came to share in our joy, and through it, I think I found some peace about things, if even for a short while. Yeah… this year, life has not been very peaceful for me. Thinking about the future, the state of my heart, wondering why I don’t live as well as I want to, the tension between how it is and how it should be. But when you look around, sometimes, in the smallest of moments, your heart finds a faint sense of security. Like everything is okay, and all the pain was worth it. You take a deep breath, and you stay in the moment…

And then you know it’s time to go on.