waking up

Sorry… man, there has been a lot to be thankful for lately, but I just have fallen too far behind to update.

I think I will restart soon. I had a 10-post every single day from Jan. 1st, too! Oh well…

Watch it here.

Fair commentary and hopeful analysis (at least in my eyes).

Last week Wednesday
1) Learned some more about financial stuff… met with a financial advisor for free after he paid for the lunch Esther won at Dusita.
2) People being supportive of me going to Mission City instead of prayer meeting… so I’m thankful that Haven is not legalistic
3) Al’s words, “Be a blessing wherever you are.” It has stuck with me since.
4) A new student cancelling his first lesson because of work… actually worked out better because I was pressed for time for another new student who is cool as well. She’s a mom and wanted to find a way to connect with her step-son. Decided to pick up the guitar that she had bought many years ago in college. Very inspiring!
5) The lesson going really well…
6) Semi-late to my next student, but he was forgiving
7) Last lesson with E***… it was sad, but he has gotten way too busy, and his commute is too long to justify continuing. He was one of my favorite students ever…
8) Going to prayer meeting anyway, the coffee shop had cancelled the Wed. open mic a few months back and I didn’t even know it.
9) Prayer is always good for the soul, when others are there to help light the fire.
10) Went home early to just rest… it had been a busy week.

Last week Thursday
1) Meeting with a student’s dad who is a real estate agent… good stuff to know. Not gonna buy a house anytime REAL soon, but it’s really starting to become a reality.
2) This cute barista girl at Starbucks was talking to me, and it was obvious that she was either having a good day or just enjoyed her work.
3) Lunch w/Q., had Dusita again… love that freakin’ place.
4) Coupon for free entree!
5) Good lesson @ Montessori… getting to have lots of fun working with the girls.
6) Got paid for a full two hours again for only working one (other brother needed to study for an upcoming test… skipped out on the lesson).
7) Got my name in the hat for the Mission City open mic on time… I got nervous as soon as I pulled up to the coffeeshop.
8) Got PICKED!
9) Friends from TNG understanding me and supporting me…
10) Got through the performance semi-decently. I had forced myself to play the two newest songs (and therefore, least rehearsed) in order to throw myself in the deep end and perhaps create some courage where there was little before.

***

It’s quite strange that although I have had exceptional ease with music all my life, that it has taken me this long and this much convincing to write and play originals for people. It has been so frightening, so nerve-wracking and stressful, and just plain hard to bear. This tells me I still have many issues of my own self-worth to work on, more dark areas that I need to allow God to come into. But yeah, I think with each frightful step, I take a step towards wholeness and freedom… the good has definitely outweighed the bad, and I am more convinced than ever that I am supposed to be creating music and putting my whole self into it.

I played Fearful Face and a new thing I’m working on called Flight. Both are in CGDGAD (crazy weird tuning I’m sure nobody uses but me).

***

Last week Friday
1) Meeting with Elton and Sergio… good times
2) Learning in yet another deeper way that you cannot ever change people.
3) Sergio listening to me vent
4) Nap
5) Made it to the gym even though it was HAARRRRRDDD to get up
6) Early for the lesson I missed with my new student the last Friday
7) Made it through a day of crazy lessons…
8) Nick and Usman coming over for practice… hard work, but everyone is committed.
9) Ready or not, here we come.
10) Able to sleep regardless, no fear, no stress.

Saturday
1) Waking up with no stress!
2) Having three new students all in one day… more work, more income.
3) After teaching all day (on the day of my big concert) I thought I would be more worried, but I was not. I felt a slight nagging voice, but it was so quiet compared to my internal peace/rest.
4) Transport and setup was relatively easy…
5) Nick not being nervous, either. The first show out of the way, the second seemed like it would be cake…
6) Usman was nervous… but he was a trooper.
7) Brian Lum killin’ it! Funniest member of our band… Michael Cera, awkward-type humor.
8) The set going well… WAY more confidence, way smoother. Yes, still obvious mistakes, but we are getting better every time.
9) Mom and Dad being there… love
10) 70 people in attendance! Record for us…
11) Getting paid. Sweet…
12) People being super excited about the full-band debut (it almost feels like we don’t deserve fans, yet people have been proving that wrong).
13) All the encouragement/compliments
14) Meeting Nick’s parents, Tim and Alex and Nick’s bro, all super supportive. Also meeting Usman’s dad and friends.
15) TGIF after with SFCAC guys and Nick/Alex + Quoc and Erica… good times.
16) Nate Chan, hung out after.

Sunday
1) Woke up early with relative ease…
2) Made it to AIDS walk earlier than EVERYONE ELSE… hahaha. Nice to just sit and take it in. Haven is up to something good.
3) The walk wasn’t bad… fun, actually
4) Subway never tasted so good (free small sandwiches after the walk)
5) Meeting Christy while walking, just being able to show some care for someone who hasn’t felt connected with God in a while.
6) Sweet Tomatoes… 5x better than Fresh Choice.
7) NAAAAAAP (if you can call 3 hours a nap)
8) Real peace and quiet… after a whirlwind of a weekend.
9) Dan and Junshien… good guys.
10) NO WORK THE NEXT DAY

Monday
1) No work
2) Chatting with Junshien
3) Getting a response from Hotel Utah… so exciting
4) Panda Express is yummy
5) Even though it was a day off, got a lot of work done. Mostly band stuff.
6) Iced Coffee and Danish
7) People who share knowledge freely on the internet… it’s so helpful, especially with this band stuff.
8) Made a cool flyer.
9) Support all around.
10) Celebration of Discipline… very well-written.

Tuesday
1) Riding with Elton to SF… good talk
2) Chris Daza’s stories
3) Stax are yum
4) That people who are seasoned Christians, missionaries and church planter-type people don’t know much that I don’t. Why? Because it’s all about Jesus.
5) Glad Elton understands me.
6) Time to chill before work
7) I have a great job
8) Pizz’a Chicago’s BBQ Chicken Pizz’a
9) Having a good conversation w/K******
10) Iron Man!

Wednesday
1) Alotta’s
2) Band account and work account at WAMU now… should be easier for the future.
3) Time to go over some propositions
4) Researching my views on Prop. 8, not an easy decision. Thankful I can vote either way.
5) That I can be patient with some of my more difficult students.
6) That some students make work easy…
7) Elton always makes sure I have something to eat on Wednesday night.
8) That we want to get more serious about prayer
9) Just hanging out, talking Prop. 8 and ethics with Elton
10) Understanding more about politics, and I’m getting more interested…