waking up

I have been coming to BAAYF summer youth camp since the year I was eligible. As a 12 year-old who fell asleep during sermons, who only wore GAP sweatshirts in the summer heat, shot pool in the rec room when everyone else was doing mandatory group recreation activities, I realize I have done some growing up. And BAAYF has had a huge hand in that.

I remember my first deep encounter with the love of God there. Although it was yet another night where I had fell asleep during the sermon, I tangibly felt like I needed God, and that He loved me. It was strange, and awesome. Later that week, I sensed God was speaking to me, telling me to serve him. This happened on three separate occasions throughout the week. Funny, I didn’t even remember this until my senior year of college. I was wrestling with what I should do after college when my mom reminded me of this story, and affirmed that I was called to be in some sort of ministry capacity.

I remember becoming friends with Ike and Charissa, Hooters, Christina Young, and a whole bunch of other people that I still try to keep in touch with. Whenever we get together, there are always lots of laughs, and more often than not, we share and reflect on our lives.

I remember looking up to Pat Chen like he was a musical god. Now he is merely a peer, muahahaha. Just kidding, Pat is still a musical god. I remember learning valuable skills for and perspectives on worship through Tim Lee and Steve Jang.

I remember the camaraderie of playing on the worship team all week with Brian Lum, Christina Young, Theo and JoEllen Tam, and many other asian christian musical giants of my generation.

I remember the funny t-shirts and camp themes, and the distinct impression of wondering who the heck wrote our Bible study and devotional materials. And now I am writing them…

I remember the counselors… and all the man-talk. I remember Kit Chung and his expertise on home-made bombs and wiping his #2’s from the front. I remember Jeff (was it Jeff Li? He had a Takamine G-series) and the fact that I once jumped him and accidentally rammed his testicles really hard. I remember Rich and his ultra-profound and prophetic statement, “This whole one-guy, rockstar worship-leading thing? It’s just a trend. It will die one day” (this one rocked me at a time when I thought singing Chris Tomlin and Delirious? songs was the pen-ultimate expression of worship, second only to Heaven). Rich also wore the same UC Berkeley t-shirt every night we went to bed. I remember Curtis and his infamous NEVER-TELL-A-SOUL baseball park incident that he shared only with one cabin.

I remember my first exposure to tongues, prophecy, and healing… all at BAAYF.

I remember the girls. I remember the attention-seeking ones, the cute ones, the unattainable ones, the older sisters you wish you were born earlier to holler at.

I remember the era of Wayne and Teddy (now Theo), and the undying bond between East Bay and SFCAC ballers.

I remember staff, thinking how grown-up and in-charge they were… Seri’s choco tacos, her run-in with Frank’s pepperonis. I remember Victor Quon’s hilarious SD Chargers references and the predictable jerseys.

I remember always being the first to share during fireside testimony time. I remember always being the one manning the fire.

I remember Alliance Redwoods and the crappy Main cabins that reeked of sweat and rust. Now they are Fir, the nicest junior-high boy cabins in the world. I remember getting athlete’s foot once from Birdland showers. I remember leeches from canoeing.

I remember SPORTS DAY. What the heck ever happened to that?!

***

I always thought that I had slid back during these years after college. That San Jose had somehow exposed the fraud that I was, and that I had somehow gotten through 21 years by faking it. And while the faking it part is not true, the part about me being exposed is. Never before have I been confronted by my glaring inadequacies than in this chapter of my life. But at the same time, as BAAYF 2009 has reminded me… God is doing a work. I can’t even SEE it most of the time. But He is. People around me notice that I am a better listener than before, that I am less defensive when challenged, that my heart is more inclusive and welcoming… and honestly, I can’t say that these are to my credit. I wish I could.

From being some silly kid with no discernable direction, my BAAYF experience reminds me that I have come a long way.

Here, as I reflect, I build an altar of sorts, in blog-form. I remind myself that God is faithful in showing up in the ministry of BAAYF. He is faithful in starting a divine work in young people’s lives. And He is faithful to bring it to completion.

And for this, I am really thankful.

What do you remember?